TheDistinguishedEnglishBulldog’s Blog

August 26, 2009

Take Your Bullie to Work Day

Filed under: Days in the life — by thedistinguishedenglishbulldog @ 4:18 am

On my way to doggie daycare this morning, mom took me into work to meet her co-workers. She had planned on suprising them, but they heard my heavy breathing-self coming down the hallway. Oops.

Banker bullie

 So… anyone want a commercial real estate loan from a very handsome bulldog?

– TDEB

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August 9, 2009

Bulldog swimming lessons – Take 1

Filed under: Days in the life — by thedistinguishedenglishbulldog @ 12:32 pm

So it’s been established that I love the water – I am the big fish in my little kiddie pool, after all. So the lake is the logical next step, right? Blame this one on the humans… it started out innocently enough.

On the g-parents boat ramp - this is nice...

On the g-parents' boat ramp - this is nice...

 

A friendly hello to the water lab, Jasmine. We’re related… somehow. When I figure it out, I’ll let you know.

Shes an old pro. But I swear I heard her laughing at me later...

She's an old pro. But I swear I heard her laughing at me later...

The waters getting deeper now...

The water's getting deeper now...

And then it happened. Thankfully, it wasn’t caught on camera. But don’t jump to conclusions – while I was rescued quickly, they were laughing already.
I waded out a bit farther and then suddenly my feet weren’t touching the ground anymore. I bobbed for second and then my head started to sink… and my butt started to rise. In short, I sank. The humans right-sized me (while doubled over in laughter) and thought it was even more hilarious that I wasn’t doggy paddling while being supported in the water. Doesn’t EVERY dog know how to dog paddle? Isn’t it instinctive? Um, no. Not quite. Especially, when considering the laws of physics, BULLDOGS CAN’T SWIM. We can’t displace enough water with our short, stumpy legs to keep our bulky selves afloat. Duh.
So a flotation aid was dispatched for. (A mini-search was also carried on for an old life jacket that half-dog, half-amphibian Jasmine “doesn’t need anymore”, but the search was in vain. I think Jasmine may have hidden it. I’m keeping my eye on that one.)
Unfortunately, the flotation devices (hereafter referred to as “noodles”, which in my world is something edible) were almost as scary as my first real swimming lesson.
No. You cant make me. Not coming back in there. No way. Not gonna happen.

No. You can't make me. Not coming back in there. No way. Not gonna happen.

Dont just stand there - do something! Save me! Help!!!

Don't just stand there - do something! Save me! Help!!!

You are looking at one very unhappy camper.

You are looking at one very unhappy camper.

Alas, the noodles failed to keep my big, bullie-self afloat. That, and they scared the living daylights out of me. I was much relieved when we went inside for naps. The humans told me to think of the “swimming” as more training for the Zero-K Un-Run. They can keep their training tips to themselves from now on, thank you very much. That’s what I think.
Soggy,
The Distinguished English Bulldog

August 3, 2009

Family Reunion = Road Trip!

Filed under: Days in the life — by thedistinguishedenglishbulldog @ 4:10 am
The humans had a family reunion in NC over the weekend – and I was brought along!

This was me most of the day:

(Notice the spillage / droolage around the water bowl there.)

Word on the street is that I was very well-behaved. A bit shy at first (first time meeting all these family members and all), but I met a few other doggy relatives and made nice with everyone. And of course, showed off my cute mug while basking in the glow of all the “how handsome!” and “adorable” comments. One of the things I do best, if I do say so myself.

Buddies Thru Bullies (www.buddiesthrubullies.org) is gearing up for their annual Zero-K Un-Run. I figured I needed to start my training regimen to leg up on the competition. Luckily, the humans found an obstacle course (read: playground) for me to get some training time in.

Me checking out this slide contraption – not exactly sure what I think about it… (notice mom cheesin’ it up for the camera?)

Eventually, I was coaxed into trying out the slide –

Not thinking this is my best idea ever...
Not thinking this is my best idea ever…
Hey - this is kind of fun!

Hey - this is kind of fun!

And now Im just showing off :P
Now I’m just showing off 😛
Also on the obstacle course were these spinny chairs… of course I got hoisted up into one….
Do or do I not look positively ill?

Do or do I not look positively ill?

Worn out after all that running around – I slept (and snored) the whole car ride back home.

Sleepily Yours,

The Distinguished English Bulldog

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