TheDistinguishedEnglishBulldog’s Blog

November 16, 2010

A+ face

Filed under: Days in the life — by thedistinguishedenglishbulldog @ 11:56 pm

I hate going to the vet. I know I’m supposed to big and tough, but as soon as I walk am dragged through the front doors, I turn into a trembling, scared weenie. The nice receptionist lady saw how nervous I was and came to pet me and make me feel better and I peed all over the floor. Oh the shame!

The humans took some cookies in attempts to distract me, but I was too nervous to eat. Too nervous to eat! Can you imagine? Me – too nervous to eat! If that doesn’t impress upon you the seriousness of my predicament, then well, I don’t know what else to say to you.

My vet is really very nice – the humans picked her because she’s very knowledgeable about bulldogs and the practice is state of the art. When the humans went over all my “issues” she was very understanding and non-judgmental. Which I appreciated. But really, sanity is overrated in my opinion. 

One of the first things the vet commented on was what a quiet breather I was. I saw the humans exchange a puzzled glance, which I ignored. She began petting me and complimented me on my defined waistline and hourglass figure. She praised my ears for being so clean (even though I protest strongly when the humans clean them) and remarked on what lovely condition my skin was in (it’s my grain free, organic kibble). And then – she looked deep into my (clear, non-watery eyes) and told me I had an A+ face. I’ve known it all along, but it’s nice to get confirmation from an official, credible source. 

I was really starting to like this lady, and then she… well, she started poking me all over. And pried my jaws open to see my teeth. And then she took my temperature. And not with the kind of thermometer I’ve seen the humans use. We just met, lady! I peed on the floor again at that point, so I guess we’ll call it even. But other than all that, it went ok. I got a clean bill of health, loads of compliments, and confirmation of my A+ face. See you next year, doc.

– T(A+ face)DEB


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