TheDistinguishedEnglishBulldog’s Blog

October 1, 2012

Under Siege – Day 1

Filed under: Days in the life — by thedistinguishedenglishbulldog @ 7:09 am

Hello, faithful readers. I write to you from the safety of my dining room and have a most important announcement to share. We are under siege.

It started out as a perfectly normal day – I woke the humans up at 6am for potties and nummies. I took my early morning nap, my late morning nap, and my mid-day nap on the couch, on the rug, and the hearth, respectively. There may or may not have been additional naps.  I played with some toys. I barked at the neighbor kids playing outside. I tried to eat some furniture and the air freshener plugged in the hallway. Totally normal day.

Until now. Mummy took me out for my one of my evening potty breaks and there it was:

And it begins...

My reaction: typical. Lots of barking, lunging, growling and in general making a scene. Mummy tells me it’s harmless decoration known as a Halloween inflatable. She reminds of the annual terror that is Halloween. I have no recollection of this in prior years, though Mummy also reminded me that I’m usually on a double dose of  my evening happy meds so that I don’t needlessly terrorize the children who come to my house and take candy from my humans. I do believe my humans have lost their marbles – in what world, I ask you, is it acceptable for small people to COME TO MY HOUSE and TAKE THINGS FROM ME?

At any rate, the siege is under way my friends. Consider yourselves warned; I urge you to take action now while you may still have time. For this operation in our home, I have named Mummy as our leader and she will herefore be known as Lt. Mummy. In the immortal words of Antione Dodson I urge you to “hide yo kids, hide yo wife”. I will also be hiding, likely behind Lt. Mummy. I will attempt further investigation of the subject in the days to come, so stay tuned. In the mean time, I will be studying further strategies to protect the homestead. Lt. Mummy was kind enough to bring up the Wikipedia page on Winston Churchill for my edification.

Little know fact – the humans considered naming me – among other things – Winston, Franklin, and Roosevelt (I came to the rescue as Bentley). However, they could never remember their current favorite name and I was called all names under the sun. They decided to stick with Bentley to alleviate all the confusion. I must say, though, I do feel a strong affinity for Winston. Especially considering the current situation.

Stay strong, dear readers.

– TDEB

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