TheDistinguishedEnglishBulldog’s Blog

October 11, 2012

A war on two fronts or why good news/bad news isn’t a fun game

Filed under: Days in the life — by thedistinguishedenglishbulldog @ 8:03 am

Mummy likes to play a game with me that I call good news/bad news. It goes something like this (*clearing throat for my best mummy voice*): “Bentley! Who wants to eat lots of peanut butter? I’m sending a whole, fresh jar with you to the V-E-T while we’re out of town this weekend!” or “Benson! Who wants a butt rub? It’s time to go out in the rain to potty!”. This game is also know as “good news, bad news” and I’m on to it. I’ve become adept at swiping cookies that were meant to bribe me off the couch, gobbling PB and then spitting out the medicine the humans hid in it, etc.

I have been fighting the good fight since my last post, and hope you have been doing the same, reader. I do have my own version of good news/bad news to share with you today, though.

First, the good – the enemy has been vanquished!

While I can’t claim I executed a Seal Team 6-type of mission, I do feel like I played a direct role in this crucial defeat of my sworn enemy. Mummy cautions me to not to get too excited as these things have a way of “coming back to life” or some such nonsense, but I stand firm in my declaration of victory.

And now the bad. The very bad. There is another enemy encroaching on the homestead. I’ve intrepidly (all the while hiding behind mummy) ventured out to scope out the enemy and have this picture to offer:

And he appears to have multiplied. And he glows at night. And they look RIGHT AT ME while I try to potty. The front yard is not safe. The backyard is no longer safe. I am now confined to the side yard that gives mummy the creeps because she once saw a snail AND a slug there on the same day. (I tried to be helpful and eat them which, oddly, did not seem to make mummy feel better.)

But back to the enemy that has now launched a double offensive: Reader – I implore you stay strong and vigilant in the face of grave danger. Halloween is fast approaching and I plan to survive. If you have been fortunate enough to not have been invaded, I ask a few things of you to help me carry on the fight:

  1. Please send cookies. (I need a stockpile in case things take a turn for the worst. I’ve seen “The Walking Dead” and am well-versed in zombie apocalypse.) And, there is no such thing as too many cookies. I also may or may not be an emotional eater.
  2. Ummm… I guess the cookies are it. I would ask for reinforcements, but I’m really rather anti-social (though I much prefer to call myself introverted), so… there’s that.

Until next time, I remain (somewhat) courageously yours,



1 Comment »

  1. Bentley, I have not had the pleasure of meeting you, but I am your cousin Beau Bentley Reese . I had no idea we shared the same name, but have to admit it is a very regal name. Keep up the blog, your adventures rock.

    Comment by Beau bentley reese — October 17, 2012 @ 2:33 am |Reply

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